Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)
That’s fucking gross, Cosmo
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha OH COSMO! This is so hot, I’ll totally be doing it tonight~
i just gagged.
the phrase “delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around” just made me choke on air
Do….Do women actually consider shoving food into their vags? I’m terrified.
Food fetishes are one thing, but this is just plain bad.
wow mashed banana how sexy and not at all like baby food
but why peaches though?
Um. Could you imagine trying to clean that out? Just eww. Jizz covered fruit also does not sound at all appeasing.
LMAO I AM DYING AT THE COMMENTARY
notice how cosmo’s sex tips are all about his pleasure?
I threw up into my mouth a little.
this is the best thing ive seen on tumblr for a long time. lmao. fruitarians unite!
YEAST INFECTIONS ARE HOT TRUFAX…
Does anyone at that magazine actually have or have ever met a vagina?
Cosmo is full of pussy haters.
Whoosh my WHAT in WHAT??
brb becoming nun to stave off trauma
I just had the following text message exchange with Ian:
“Hey, so I was just reading this hot sex tip from Cosmo: ‘Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around in it! Once you climax, switch to 69 position for sweet afters.’ What do you think? Is this something you’d like to try?”
“Wouldn’t the sugar in the juices be infectiony?”
“Um, yes. Please tell me you did not think I was seriously suggesting that you woosh your penis around inside my banana filled vagina.”
Mmmm. Smushy vag fruits. Uh, hell no?
Oh my god I cannot breathe
Fucking Cosmo, man…god damn.
What the fuck did I just read?!!??!!? I have enough discomfort with Tampons, who the fuck wants to STICK FRUIT UP THERE!!!!!
I have this “gross-out” competition with my friend. So far, I am winning with this quote.
This is still gross.
whoosh his penis. I am dying.
Yeah no the only phallic shaped thing going into my vag is a penis. Sorry.
CRYING AT THIS POST
I AM FUCKING DYING. HOLY JESUS, THIS IS GOLD.
Keeping a straight face while reading this at work was a Herculean effort. Seriously. You don’t even KNOW. 8|
This is the funniest series of commentary in the world.
Also, Cosmo, why switch to 69? Is that the only kind of oral sex I’m allowed to have.
Yeah I need to reblog this again because the commentary is just too good to pass up. Also I don’t think “whoosh” and “penis” should really go together, or inside anyone’s orifice(s).
Reblogging again for the hilarious commentary. And how this quote fills my brain with immense amounts of fuck.
Oh dear god why would someone think that this is a good idea!
- seulemint reblogged this from gaffegaffe
- zezlemet reblogged this from thenightmarerider
- thenightmarerider likes this
- esistere reblogged this from suicideunderground
- looking-for-sea reblogged this from nijuukoo
- outercorner likes this
- grufflepuff reblogged this from darkgreythoughts
- damnhufflepuff likes this
- darkgreythoughts reblogged this from pinuppaperockstars
- neonpinklace likes this
- sweetandlovelygirl7 likes this
- stunnastina17 likes this
- abusinessman reblogged this from darlingmonstrum
- darlingmonstrum reblogged this from kitty-libertine
- wrathofseacows reblogged this from kitty-libertine
- kitty-libertine likes this
- kitty-libertine reblogged this from finalfarce
- finalfarce reblogged this from sharpshooter-island
- sharpshooter-island reblogged this from demonfujoshi
- demonfujoshi reblogged this from amandak127
- evilsciencechick reblogged this from likeyogibear
- frakyeahdoccottle likes this
- gustiab reblogged this from punwitch
- samisamachine likes this
- becauselemon reblogged this from punwitch
- styanriles reblogged this from undead-potatoes
- ridamna likes this
- belle11m reblogged this from thefigtreeisripe
- dilatorylove likes this
- einolem reblogged this from freezingsupernova
- einolem likes this
- cheetahtears reblogged this from freezingsupernova
- freezingsupernova reblogged this from thefigtreeisripe
- blushingbert likes this
- blushingbert reblogged this from sodirtyitstwerk
- sodirtyitstwerk reblogged this from buried-at-trenzalore
- yumyumtacos reblogged this from buried-at-trenzalore
- buried-at-trenzalore reblogged this from when-we-forget-the-harmony
- when-we-forget-the-harmony reblogged this from thatwasthewhiskey
- thatwasthewhiskey reblogged this from thefigtreeisripe
- thefigtreeisripe reblogged this from thejoysofnoise
- majesticalparade likes this
- thejoysofnoise reblogged this from confessionsofthefuckingawkward
- confessionsofthefuckingawkward likes this
- confessionsofthefuckingawkward reblogged this from punwitch
- lolkyle likes this
- bl1ndg1rl likes this
- thegreathomestuckreread likes this
- hypotheticalyiff reblogged this from tatterpig
- hypotheticalyiff likes this